


nothing wrong with just a taste

by Drownedinlight



Series: The Famous Barry Allen [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-15 20:42:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8072068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drownedinlight/pseuds/Drownedinlight
Summary: Barry and Len's relationship (and their patience) is tested by Barry's online baking career and his fanclub.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, I love the smell of sequel in the morning. Low, a year later I have produced a second work in what I have now titled "The Famous Barry Allen" universe. This, I think, is a little less like crack than my first one, but still not meant to be taken super seriously. That will be left for the third work, which I cannot get my head around making not so serious (also, I can't figure out a title from the Panic!at the Disco album Vices & Virtues). It's definitely a goal with these to make them pretty funny and lacking in angst--like seriously, I deleted a scene and rewrote it because it was just waaaaay too full of angst. So yeah. without further ado, I present to you...

_[A camera lens focuses on a kitchen counter. A bright eyed, bushy tailed young man appears in front of the camera. He is smiling, holding a spatula turner.]_

_**Barry** _

Hi everyone and welcome to Baking with Barry _!_

_[The screen freezes for a moment. A short theme song plays as the words “Baking with Barry” appear in block print on the page. The screen unfreezes.]_

_**Barry** _

So this semester I’m taking a course on social media for a humanities credit. One of the options for our final project is to create a social media account and see if we can generate followers. Afterwards we have to write about what we did and what we think makes successful social media-ites successful. One of my hypotheses is that successful social media takes time.

  _So, with full disclosure out of the way, let’s get to baking!_

* * *

 From: www.BarryAllenFanClub.org

**Board: Barry Allen News You Can Use**

Thread: I’m just going to leave this right here

panic!intheBakery said: Hi everyone! I don’t live in Central City so I was super confused and excited to find out about the calendar and www.barryallenfanclub.org. That said, I have a surprise for you guys--it may come as a suprise, but Barry’s had fans since before the photo shoot. So here is a link for your viewing pleasure.  We’re mostly a youtube based community, but there are some existing fanfics that I expect’ll be coming your way soon.

  theprez001 replied: Wait? HE BAKES?

     BarryAllensno1fan replied: He bakes _and_ he has abs? OMG WE ARE NOT WORTHY!

* * *

 

Barry really ought to have known to be warry of normal days. Days where there was no Flash crime, when he could wake up next to Len and just spend the morning before work with his boyfriend. Because it seemed like these were the days when his “normal” life started giving him shit. And it was almost easier to with anything being the Flash could throw at him than dealing with the not so sordid secrets of his past (and present).

So after bagels with Len, he kissed his boyfriend good-bye and walked out the door to work. The first clue should have been a text from Patty which simply read: “You bake?”

“All the time,” Barry replied, before flashing into work.

Before Patty could get off another text to him, he actually bumped into her on the way up to his lab. “Hey!” she said with a smile filled with sunshine. “Guess what I found on the internet last night?”

“Umm...is it something work appropriate?” asked Barry.

“Well, it’s about you, so yes,” said Patty.

Barry felt the blood rush from his face. “Oh God--is this about the calendar?”

“No, silly, I saw that ages ago! I’m talking about your baking show.”

Barry opened his mouth to object to the fact that she had seen his calendar photo, but was found himself, mouth open and eyes blinking at the words “baking show.” A lightbulb went off above his head. “Oh! You’ve seen _Baking with Barry_. For a second I thought it was going to be something weird.”

“No, not weird at all!” said Patty, with an even brighter smile. “Well, I mean, you’re a youtube star--but it’s not like you’re a superhero or celebrity or something. I mean, not that being a youtube star is like _less than_ , you know.”

Barry grinned at her. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Hey, listen I’ve got to get up to my labs, but we’ll talk later? Lunch, barring an emergency?”

“Sure thing!” said Patty, waving and heading off to her desk in the bullpen.

Barry made it all the way up to his lab before the weirdness really began.

His phone dinged for his Whatsapp chat notification. Barry unlocked his phone to find a new message in the Flarrow group chat.

Ray Palmer: Hey Barry, can I come on your baking show? 8:02

Barry Allen: ...Sure? What did you want to bake? 8:03

Ray Palmer: I make a mean Beef Bourguignon. Are you free this weekend? 8:04

Barry Allen: Yep! Just meet me in Central City, I’ll text you my address. 8:04

Cisco Ramon: Awww, yiss! That means foodie party at Barry’s! 8:10

Felicity Smoak: RAYMOND JULIUS PALMER! I SPECIFICALLY SAID NOT TO MENTION ANYTHING TO BARRY ABOUT THE BAKING SHOW! 8:12

Ray Palmer: ...huh, I missed have missed that part. I’ve just always wanted to be on a youtube show. 8:13

Barry Allen: Wait, why are we not mentioning my baking show? I mean it’s a little weird that Ray knows but a bunch of people know about that so.... 8:15

Barry Allen: Like, some of you have been on the baking show 8:16

Barry Allen: Um...Hello...? 8:30

Barry Allen: Guys, what’s going on? 8:30

Barry Allen: Seriously, tell me what’s going on 8:30

Barry Allen: I’m starting to freak out come on! 8:31

Just then Sophie Farmer walked into the room, holding a laptop and frowning. “You bake?” she asked.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Barry asked, his voice more escaping as a whine.

Farmer smiled sympathetically and rolled a chair toward him. “You might want to sit down.”

“Sophie, please just tell me,” said Barry. But he sat down, just in case it might aid the matter at hand.

“So I have alerts set up for barryallenfanclub.org, and well this morning I got a huge ping for activity,” said Sophie. “The Calendar fans found out about _Baking with Barry_. And vice versa it would seem. So, uh, you might not want to read your youtube comments for a while.”

Barry swears he didn’t whimper.

* * *

Linda and Iris were both frowning at him--never a good combination.

“I don’t get it,” said Linda.

“Yeah,” said Caitlin, also frowning. “Most of us have been on _Baking with Barry_ at some point. I thought you liked it.”

“I do!” said Barry. “But it’s like being a superhero and being an ordinary forensic scientist--I had hoped the two would never meet.”

“Wait, is _Baking with Barry_ the Flash in this analogy?” asked Cisco, also beginning to frown.

“I would think _Baking with Barry_ is the ordinary forensic scientist,” said Eddie, smiling brightly--his smile was probably only second to Patty’s in term of sunshine-esque quality. “The Calendar is definitely the Flash--after all he wouldn’t have abs without being the Flash.”

“But seriously, Bar,” said Iris. She reached out across the table and took his hand to squeeze it. “What’s so wrong with the world knowing about _Baking with Barry_? You had like fifty thousand followers already.”

“It’s just--I guess I always thought that I was kind of like a Food Network person in a way--like you watch Alton Brown or Giada de Laurentiis and you like them and follow their advice, but you don’t write weird fanfiction about them and their brother-in-law.”

“Awww, thanks Barry,” said Eddie, still smiling.

Cisco, though, looked contemplative, and had joined the company of frowners. “Well, rule 34, there probably is.”

“Well.” Barry tossed his head to the side in agreement. “But I mean, they never had a stud calendar of them go viral either. I just. I guess I want these parts of my life that are not supposed to overlap not to overlap. And when they do I can’t just Flash in and make it stop.”

“That’s fair,” said Eddie. The women at the table looked over at him with a frown. “What?”

“Pray, what point of comparison do you have?” asked Caitlin.

Eddie shrugged. “I mean, I was a chubby, bullied nerd for most of my time in elementary, middle and high school. Now I have a job I’m really good at, where people look up to me, and a group of friends who thinks I’m pretty great (or at least don’t tell me otherwise to my face).” Here he paused and wiggled his eyebrows at them. When everyone laughed he continued talking. “I don’t know that I would want those people who used to call me Tubby Bubby and flush my notebook down the toilette in my life now, when I’m a different person than I was then. It would make me feel powerless. Like, Barry chose to be a youtube star and all that entails. And if he wanted to, he could stop making _Baking with Barry_ tomorrow. But he didn’t necessarily choose the Calendar and everything that came with it.”

The five other people at the table blinked in rapid succession.

“Oh,” said Linda. “That...that actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Also, since all of you have been on the baking show, you should probably be prepared to have a lot of fan fiction written about you,” said Eddie, quite casually as he sipped on his soda.

The table blinked as one as looks of horror grew on everyone’s face, eyes wide open and jaws dropping--all except Barry, who couldn’t help but grin at their reaction.

“Hi guys!” said Patty as she wandered up to the table, tray in hand. “What are we talking about?”

“Barry’s baking show and how he hates his internet fame,” said Eddie without blinking.

Patty gave Barry a sympathetic pat on the back. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it will die down soon.”

“I can only hope,” said Barry. “So how is everyone else existing on this planet?”

* * *

 Len was in his office going over blueprints when he heard the giggling coming from downstairs. He figured that Hartley and Axel had finally made up, or maybe the girls were up to something, or maybe, by a strange turn of events, Mark had inhaled some helium. But then he saw out of the corner of his eye that Lisa was hovering in the doorway of his office the dopiest grin he had ever seen on her face.

“What?” Len asked.

“Your boyfriend is youtube famous,” said Lisa. She took his question as permission to step inside the office and showed him her phone.

Len took the device and stared at the screen, which was open to a youtube page called _Baking with Barry_. There was Barry’s face, grinning back at him as he held up a ceramic dish full of food. Len frowned. Barry didn’t strike him as any kind of famous. Much less Internet famous. Yet, there he was, over a million subscribers on his page.

“Huh,” said Len.

“Some of the recipes are really good too,” said Lisa. “Mick made one of the dishes Barry has for dinner, and he’s downstairs watching one about cookies right now.”

Len frowned. He pressed play on the most recent video. Video!Barry smiled at the camera and said, “Hi and welcome to baking with Barry.”

Without warning Cisco Ramon popped up from under Barry’s kitchen counter. “And Cisco!” Ramon said, also wearing a huge smile.

A theme song played, but before Len could watch more Lisa plucked her phone from his hands. “You have a computer you can watch that on, you know.”

Len frowned at her. “I didn’t know he did this.”

Lisa pouted at him. “Oh, Lenny...”

“Don’t you, ‘oh Lenny,’ me,” said Len, frown morphing into a scowl.

“You know he probably hasn’t asked you on because he doesn’t want you to get arrested,” said Lisa. She was standing with her hand on her hip, hipbone cocked out to the side.

Len rolled his eyes. “Yes, Lisa I realize. I just don’t like not knowing. So I’m gonna be an adult and ask him why he didn’t tell me, and he’s probably gonna say that he just didn’t think about it, and then we’ll have sex, and it’ll be fine.”

“Didn’t need to know that second-to-last part.” Lisa wrinkled her nose and padded out of the office.

Len waited until she went and then got up to close the door behind her. He walked back to his computer. When he pulled up an Internet browser, he typed “baking with Barry,” into google and hit search.

The plans next to him went unmarked.

* * *

  _[The camera opens on **BARRY** standing in his apartment kitchen. He smiles brightly like the sun and all that is good in the world.]_

  _**Barry** _

Hi everyone! And welcome to Baking with Barry! 

 _[A dark skinned, dark haired young man pops up from where he was hiding behind the counter.]_  

_**Cisco** _

And Cisco! 

 _[The theme music plays over a still frame of the two, which transitions to video of Barry pulling a soufflé from his oven, digging into what seems to be a chicken pot pie, and then a plate of cookies--from which one is stolen by a hand with long fingers_  

 _When the theme music stops, the camera returns to Barry and Cisco standing in the kitchen]_  

_**Barry** _

So, you all remember Cisco from the last time we made some Tamales. And this time he comes to us with another really, really amazing recipe. 

_**Cisco** _

I brought some of these with me to work yesterday and Barry inhaled half the plate, so he promised we could make more today. So prepare to be amazed at the wonder of Mexican Wedding Cakes. 

 _[The camera pans over a plate in Cisco’s hands covered in spherical cookies dusted with powdered sugar. A title card of “MEXICAN WEDDING CAKES” appears over the plate of cookies._  

 _The camera cuts back to Barry and Cisco.]_  

_**Barry** _

Seriously, these things are amazing. And you are going to love them, so let’s get started.

* * *

Barry was not surprised when he came home, and he found Len in his kitchen. “Hi honey, I’m home.”

Len turned around just so Barry could see him roll his eyes. A small grin on his lips he asked, “How was your day, darling?”

“Meh,” said Barry. He leaned in to peck Len’s lips. “The whole world apparently found out about my YouTube baking show and that includes my fan club.”

“And my sister--and Mick actually. He made tamales for dinner,” said Len as he reached out and slid his hands on Barry’s hips, fingers working their way under the fabric of Barry’s shirt and jeans.

Barry sighed at the contact, and made a concentrated effort to kiss Len’s mouth, cupping his hands around Len’s face. He pulled away after a moment and rested his forehead against Len’s. “Are you mad I didn’t tell you about the baking show?”

Len gave a little rumble. “Not mad. I just wish I had known, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” said Barry, pressing another small kiss to Len’s mouth. “It wasn’t something I was keeping from you, I promise. I suppose it’s just never come up is all.”

“It’s fine,” said Len. “Really, Barry. But that means you’re going to be cooking dinner more often now that I know you can.”

Barry grinned and kissed him. “Did Mick actually feed you those Tamales, or are you here on an empty stomach?”

“I actually brought some with me, why?” asked Len.

“Just wanted to know the circumstances under which I was going to have to seduce you just now.” Barry wiggled his eyebrows and kissed Len again. Barry couldn’t see it, but he could practically feel Len roll his eyes as Barry slipped his tongue in Len’s mouth.

They made out for a while against Barry’s kitchen counter, before Len finally pushed him off and dragged him into the bedroom.

Barry stripped out of his clothes kissing Len and running his hands all over his boyfriend’s body. It always felt so good when he was with Len.

Len--well, he wasn’t going to say that he didn’t enjoy sex with Barry. He did. But there was still this niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach, and even the amazing sex and the delicious tamales didn’t make it go away. 

* * *

From: www.BarryAllenFanClub.org

**Board: The Baking Show**

Description: All about Baking with Barry _!_

Post: Okay...but like this is amazing?!?

Post by CalicoKat: Okay, but seriously, I know Barry is hot. We all know this. He’s amazing. But seriously. This food. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna get fat. Not in that order. And not that those things will be correlated. But OH MY GOD.

  Reply by GothPrepDicotomy: RIGHT?!? Oh my gosh. I’ve made so many things from Baking with Barry I’ve got to start freezing some of them for later. My mom’s super into the show too--it’s nice to have something in common with her again.

  Reply by NaughtMe: Is it bad that I want to watch him bake and then have sex with him in the kitchen?

  10 Replies

* * *

For the most part, Barry just ignored the increasingly weird comments on his youtube page and fansite... Well, he didn’t ignore them completely! That would be foolish! And possibly dangerous. Who knew what these fans would get up to after all? But he did successfully avoid any rage quitting, so that was cause for pride.

Barry went to work, acted as the Flash, spent time with his friends, spent time with Len, and just tried to chill (pun intended).

On Friday, he got a text from Ray.

Ray Palmer: Are we still on for tomorrow? 10:34

Barry Allen: Sure thing! 10:34

Barry Allen: You need me to pick anything up? 10:34

Ray Palmer: Naw, I got it! See you then 10:37

* * *

  _[Camera focuses in on **BARRY** in a kitchen. Someone else appears in the shot with him as a tuff of well combed back hair peeking out from underneath the counter.]_ 

_**Barry** _

Hi everyone and welcome to Baking with Barry! 

 _[ **RAY** pops up from under the counter where he was poorly hidden. He hits his head as he does so]_  

_**Ray** _

Ow! 

 _[They both laugh]_  

_**Ray** _

(forced cheerfulness) and Ray! 

_**Barry** _

(through his laughter) Are you okay? 

_**Ray** _

(Laughing a little as he rubs his head) I think we may need to operate. 

 _[Title card plays]_  

_**Barry** _

(still giggling a little) So Ray, what are we baking today?

* * *

Deep in the bowels of Lian Yu, the guards were deeply engrossed with the latest episode of _Baking with Barry_ , when they were knocked out from behind. One of the figures that had knocked them out picked up the tablet they had been using. to watch.

“Huh,” said the figure in an vague Australian accent. “He’s put out a new one.”

The other figure growled. Also in an Australian accent, though slightly slowed and scratchy, he asked, “Do you wanna watch telly, or do you wanna get off this bloody island?”

“Nothing that says we can’t do both,” said the vague Australian accent. He tucked the tablet into his jumpsuit and ran off behind the scratchy Australian accent.

* * *

**Thread: Baking with Barry episode 336**

Post by aintnosunshinewhenimhere is anyone else concerned about the amount of billionaires Barry knows?

  Reply by poofthereitis: It’s just the one right?

    Reply by aintnosunshinewhenimhere: no, there’s an episode with oliver queen too. queen’s in the sequel calendar too, he's the bread in the Barry sandwich with Thawne.

      Reply by kittens: Baddie is my OTP. They were the original, nevermind how they got queen to pose in the sequel calendar. I mean I guess Barry’s known Iris longer, but they’re like siblings, right? Baddie 4 Lyfe.

        Reply by poofthereitis: Baddie?

          Reply by kittens: BarryxEddie

            Reply by poofthereitis: But they aren’t bad. They’re like two of the least bad people you’ll ever meet. Working for the police aside.

              Reply by kittens: *shrugs* it’s the only portmanteau we’ve got

                Reply by poofthereitis: What about Allane....or Thallen? Thallen sounds nice.

                  Reply by kittens: oooo I like that. I have to go put that on the BarryxEddie thread. I’ll totes give you credit!

  Reply by BruceWayneisTotallyBatman: I wonder if Barry can use his billionaire connections to ask Bruce Wayne on the show and see if he will out himself as Batman.

  Reply by aintnosunshinewhenimhere: *sigh* so nobody thinks this is weird? I think it’s weird.

* * *

Len glared at the fan site, hoping whoever the hell _kittens_ was they were feeling his ice cold stare. He also certainly hoped that Thawne knew how to keep his hands to himself (or to West, as it were). Queen, too, for that matter. It didn’t matter if both of them were gorgeous and fit and were roughly Barry’s again Barry’s rough age group. Or that Barry would probably pick the--DAMMIT! Barry was Len’s boyfriend! Right? Right.

So Len and Barry were the real OTP.

Len felt a pair of eyes on him and looked up from the computer screen. Hartley stood in the doorway of the office with a frown on his face. “What is it, Piper?”

“Ouch,” said Hartley as he pushed off the doorframe with his shoulder. He strolled into the room, taking Len’s address to him as permission to enter. “You only call me Piper when you’re upset. So, what’s up, Boss?”

Len leveled a glare at him. Hartley did not seem impressed or afraid. Len would have to work on that for when he tracked kittens down to threaten him, her or them in their bed. “I am _not_ upset.”

“Okay,” said Hartley with a shrug. “Well, Lisa says that dinner is ready and that you’re not allowed to skip out on family time to sulk.”

“I’m not sulking,” said Len, turning back his computer.

“Then you really don’t have a reason not to come down for dinner,” said Hartley as he turned to leave the room. He wrapped his knuckles on the side of the threshold. “But you know, if you do ever want to talk about what’s bothering you, I have an okay set of ears.”

Hartley turned and sauntered from the sanctity of Len’s office.

Len watched him go, a frown marring his face. Hartley might have had an okay set of ears, but he had the wrong frame of mind. Axel adored Hartley (though he liked to show it with silly pranks and teasing). Barry... Well, Len adored him to be sure. Barry...well... Len choked on the thought.

And he thought while he was choking, he might as well go and have something to eat.

* * *

From: www.BarryAllenFanClub.org

**Board: IRL**

**Thread: Super Central (City)**

_Description: Most of us live in Central City, as that's where Barry is based. And if you haven't watched the news there's some weird shit that goes on in Central City._

Post: Who/What is Zoom?

flutterBYE: has anyone else noticed that the people fighting the Flash seem to be talking about something/one called Zoom a lot lately?

  soCALtransplant: I think it might be a drug of some kind. It might explain why they can all suddenly beat the Flash.

    goodVIBErations: Zoom's a supervillain from another earth.

      toohothotdamn: pull the other one it has bells

        goodVIBErations: No, seriously, he came through that giant black hole that opened up a few month back.

          flutterBYE: that sounds like some weird science fiction bullshit

            firestorm1: as opposed to people with superpowers?

              flutterBYE: fair enough

              10 more replies

    gogopowerrangers: I dunno, I think I'm still on board with the drug theory. It may also explain the erratic behavior (because if a drug called Zoom is anything but a stimulant than I will eat my hat).

  panicintheBakery: Wait, you guys actually have superheroes running around your city?

     50 replies

  100 more replies

* * *

Barry was a little concerned when he didn’t hear from Len for a few days. It wasn’t that they kept tabs on each other every second of every day, but they usually texted and never went more than a week without seeing each other in person. He was only a little concerned though until he talked to Captain Singh.

“Allen,” said the Captain, catching him on the stairwell up to his lab. “Have a moment?”

“Sure, Captain,” he said, straightening the files out in his hands as he walked and talked. “But I don’t have the results for the LaGuardia case yet.”

Captain Singh waved him off. “It’s not about that, actually. Rob wanted to know if he could be a guest on _Baking with Barry_. If you had time this weekend, and it didn’t violate some unspoken rule to have two guests two weeks in a row.”

“Ah, no, that would be fine,” said Barry. It was the mention of two weeks in a row that really caught his mind, as he hadn’t realized that it was nearly a week since he invited Ray to film with him. “It’s only,” said Barry, trying to pull himself out of his head, “we’d have to do a sweet episode since we just did savory.”

“Rob wanted to make Biscotti,” said Captain Singh, “so that should be fine. Am I alright to give him your number?”

“Sure!” said Barry. “We can work out when he wants to come by without using you as the middle man.”

Captain Singh tapped him on the shoulder with a file. “That was another thing—what’s your camera set up like? If it’s not too much trouble, we were actually hoping you could come by ours. Rob gets back from a business trip on today, and I haven’t really seen him in person in two weeks. Even if I can hang around while you guys bake, it would be nice.”

“Oh.” Barry grinned at the thought of his Captain having a soft side for his husband—that the man would want even the simple presence of his spouse after such a long absence. “Of course. It’s a one camera show, so I’m good to come by. I’ll talk to Rob about what time when he texts me?”

David Singh granted him a rare smile. “Thanks, Allen. I appreciate it, and I know Rob will love to be on.”

Barry was still grinning as he entered his lab at the adoration Captain Singh felt for his husband. The thought of Singh and Rob happy together, though turned another thought over in Barry’s mind: when was the last time he had heard from Len? The very thought turned his smile into a frown as he couldn’t remember from the top of his head. Barry dug out his phone and saw the last message he had from Len was the afternoon he brought the tamales over—a week and a day ago now.

Maybe it had been a busy week for both of them, Barry reasoned, as he typed out a text. And Len shouldn’t be responsible for starting all of their communication after all.

Barry: Busy tonight? 2:34PM

The results for the LaGuardia case and others came and went, until it was time for Barry to head home.

Barry tried to think of things to add to the text conversation. _Miss you_ , sounded a little desperate, but _Haven’t talked in a few days_ , sounded worse, almost like Barry was guilting Len into coming over, or blaming him for their lack of communication. Somehow the two together didn’t sound too bad, but guilty enough that Barry backspaced out of it. He debated sending a picture of himself naked, but he had no idea if he and Len were to that part of their relationship just yet…

Instead, Barry decided to call, hoping that something brilliant would strike him when Len picked up the phone.

Naturally, it went to voicemail.

“Heey,” said Barry, after a mechanical voice informed him that he the number he was dialing was not available and to leave a message. “I, uh, was just trying to get in touch. I miss you,” he said, wincing at a squeak in his voice and the guilt infused words. “I realized that we hadn’t talked in a few days,” shit, “and I just wanted to hang out,” fuck, what was he doing? “Um, anyways. Call me back when you get this. I love you, bye.”

It was only when he had hung up the phone and flopped back onto his bed did Barry realize he told Len that he loved him for the very first time on an answering machine message. He rolled over and tried to smother himself in his comforter.

After a moment of that, which really, a moment was too long to wallow in guilt when you were Barry Allen and could travel at the speed of sound, he got to his feet and sped out of his apartment and toward Len’s place, in hopes of, at the very least, stealing Len’s phone and erasing the message. At the most, he might actually tell his boyfriend that he loved him.

The trip to the Rogue’s Den (as the sign above the door so cheerfully indicated) took him three minutes, most of which was spent locating the address. He knocked on the door, and found it answered by none other than Lisa Snart herself.

Lisa looked him up and down, but then brightened as she recognized him. “Barry! Come in!”

Barry grinned at her and stepped inside. “Hi! I don’t suppose your brother’s home? I need to erase his voicemail.”

Lisa laughed. “Sounds like there’s a story there?”

“Just that I’m really good at embarrassing myself,” said Barry.

“Shoes and jacket please,” said Lisa, gesturing to the shoe rack and the coat hooks available. “Lenny’s outside running a ‘training exercise,’” said Lisa with exaggerated air quotes. “But if you want you can wait in his study, so long as you promise not to peek at any blueprints.”

“I promise,” said Barry.

Lisa winked at him. “His phone should be up there too, so two birds, one stone. And tonight’s family dinner night, so you’ll be staying to have supper with us. I haven’t had enough of a chance to grill you on your intentions toward Lenny.”

Barry grinned. “Sounds great. Which way to the study?”

“Top of the third floor last door on the right,” said Lisa, waggling her finger at him. “And remember, no snooping, except the phone. Or, boyfriend or no, Barry shaped gold statue.”

Barry did his best, cartoonish gulp and began jogging up the stairs. When he made it to the second story he heard an odd set of moans coming from one of the doors off to the side. Barry shrugged, figuring someone must be getting lucky. He jogged up the rest of the stairs, until he made it to the third floor. He nearly made it all the way to the end of the hall, but then two voices called out, “hey!”

As he turned, Barry wasn’t sure what he was expecting—but Roy Bivolo and Mark Mardon standing in the hallway wasn’t something he thought he could dream up.

“What’s a badge like you doing here?” Mardon snarled.

“I’m Len’s boyfriend,” said Barry.

“Well yeah,” said Bivolo, rolling his eyes. “We’ve seen the photos kid—doesn’t mean you should be wandering around a den of rogues.”

Barry paused, looking between the two of them for a moment before he said, “I left a really embarrassing voicemail on Len’s phone. I need to delete it.”

Mardon and Bivolo looked at each other for a moment, before Mardon went to the stairs and leaned over the bannister. “Lisa!” he called.

“What!” she yelled back.

“Is Len’s boyfriend allowed to mess with Len’s phone?”

“Yeah!” said Lisa. “Leave him alone. And get your ass down here to set the table.”

Mark rolled his eyes at this, but he headed down the stairs, waving his hand at Barry as he went. “Yeah, do whatever you want, then.”

Bivolo squinted at Barry for a moment, and for a minute, Barry was worried he was about to get some color stimulation. Then Bivolo just shrugged and said, “I have to clean my brushes. I recommend you don’t get caught.”

“Okay,” said Barry with a decisive nod. “Thanks for the advice.”

“Welcome,” said Roy, walking back into the room from where he had come.

Barry, after a moment of watching to make sure he was gone, turned and went back to his way to Len’s study.

The large oak desk was bare of blueprints—probably because they were on a drafting table in the far corner of the room. Barry pointedly ignored them. Instead, he went to where he spotted the phone in front of the desk. He grabbed it, knocking into Len’s mouse as he did. The computer screen lit up, and surprisingly did not come up on a lock screen. Instead, there was a familiar youtube page.

Barry frowned at the page—not because Len was watching his videos, but because it was one of the early ones. “God I look so horrible in this video.”

“I thought you looked pretty cute.”

Barry whirled and saw Len leaning against the doorway. He did his level best not to show that he was hiding Len’s phone behind his back. “Lenny! Hi!” he said his voice cracking.

Len rolled his eyes. “Word of advice, kid: when you’re trying to hide something, don’t do what you just did.” Len opened his hand and held it out to Barry. “Hand it over.”

Barry pouted. He pouted long, and hard, and with the biggest puppy dog eyes that he had ever given. Len remained unmoved. “Okay,” said Barry, pulling his hand out from behind his back. “But before I give it to you, I have something to say.”

“And is that, ‘sorry for invading your privacy?’” Len asked.

“Oh,” said Barry. He supposed this was a gross invasion of privacy, and had Len done this to him, he would have been pretty angry. “Yes, I am sorry. I just…this kind of got out of hand pretty quick. I said something over the voicemail that I wanted to tell you in person.”

Len froze. His muscles tensed, and he had to roll his shoulders. “Oh yeah?”

As Barry opened his mouth, Len opened his first. "Barry I think we need to break up."

Barry blinked, stepping back. "Wait, what?"

"I just think we're getting a little too far from our prime directive of not going down in Taylor Swift-esque flames," said Len with a small shrug. "So I think it's time we leave off."

"Do you... do you really mean that?" Barry asked. He was trying to keep his voice from cracking, and the tears in his eyes where they were supposed to be.

"I do," said Len with a decisive nod, his own voice distinctly uncracked. "I'm sorry, Barry, but we had a good run."

Trying to keep his tears in his eyes was failing. He held out Len's phone to him and then pushed passed the older man, practically running from the room. He met Mark Mardon on the stairs, and before the older man could ask what had happened, Barry kept going. He made it to the bottom of the stairs and scooped up his jacket and shoes, not even bothering to put one or the other on.

"Barry?"

Barry whirled to see Lisa standing off of where the kitchen must have been, wearing an apron and holding a mixing spoon.

Lisa looked him up and down and asked, "Barry, what's the matter?"

"I'm sorry, Lisa," said Barry. "I don't think I can stay for dinner." And with that he was out the door.

Lisa stood there for all of two seconds before she felt fire boil up from her stomach and she called out, "LENNY!"

Barry eventually put on his shoes and went for a run around the city. It helped if his heart had a reason to race and his eyes had a reason to sting. Eventually, he stopped, unable to hold it back. He slouched down on a city park bench and cried it all out. Apparently, this was not the best idea, as it drew some unwarranted attention to him in the form of David and Rob Singh.

Captain Singh seemed somewhat confused, when he asked, “Allen.”

Barry looked up to see the two of them standing in front of him. “C-captain,” he said around his sniffles. But even with his superior standing in front of him, Barry couldn’t bring himself to stop crying.

Rob had already sat down next to Barry and was rubbing soothing circles into the younger man’s back. “What’s the matter, Barry?”

It took him a minute, but Barry managed to reply, “My boyfriend broke up with me.”

Rob let out a soft, “Aww, honey...”

David, though, frowned a little, “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

“David!” Rob hissed.

Barry had to giggle a little, though, both at the Captain’s response and Rob’s response to him. Honestly, it was probably for the best that the Captain hadn’t known. “It’s okay. We were keeping it on the down low. I just... I don’t even know why I’m crying. I knew it could end like this, from the very start. We’re both too different, we lead very different lives. But I just...”

“You didn’t want it to end this way,” said David.

Rob nodded to this statement, as he continued to rub circles on Barry’s back. “It’s always hard to lose out on someone you really wanted to be with. Even if you know how it might have ended.”

“Yeah,” said Barry, sniffling. “I’m sorry, I realize you probably just got home, and the last thing you want to do is comfort one of your husband’s crying subordinates.”

“That’s okay, honey,” said Rob, with a bright smile. “We all have some times we need some help.”

Captain Singh, while he was trying to be sympathetic, made a face that suggested he _was_ sorry that he was losing out on alone time with Rob. He quickly schooled his expression to be a little but more neutral, though. “Rob’s right, you really shouldn’t be alone right now. It feels worse that way.”

“Really,” said Barry, trying to smile. “I think I’m okay now.”

Rob only raised any eyebrow at him.

“How about I call Eddie and Iris?” said Barry. “They can come and get me, and then I won’t be alone anymore?”

“That’s a good compromise,” said David, only prompting Rob to roll his eyes.

“If that’s what _you_ want, Barry,” said Rob.

“It is,” said Barry, going to his pockets to look for his phone. Only, after a pat down of all of his pockets, he realized he didn’t have his phone.

Captain Singh shook his head, in good nature, and pulled out his own phone. “Hey Thawne, no, nothing’s the matter. Rob and I ran into Allen in the park, and he could use some company. Yeah, he just didn’t have his phone, so I offered to call. McFeely Park on 22nd and National. Alright, then, see you soon.”

Rob, meanwhile, had pulled out tissues from his jacket and had offered a few to Barry. Barry wiped down his face and blew his nose.

“What was his name?” Rob asked as Barry cleaned up.

“Len,” said Barry, wiping his nose after he had blown it.

“And how long were you two together?” asked Rob.

“Oh, just a couple of months now,” said Barry. He chuckled. “That’s kind of why I feel a little over dramatic, you know?”

“Well, you shouldn’t,” said Rob. “People develop connections differently and over different times. If you felt deeply for him then there’s no need to feel like you’re being overdramatic.” Barry nodded, still sniffling a little. “Thank you for that. I think I needed to hear it.”

“Of course!” said Rob.

Rob kept asking him little questions about Len--things like how they had met, what they did together. Barry did his best to answer the questions, but keep them a little vague, so as not to give away that he has in fact been dating a criminal. But still, Captain Singh kept giving him these little looks, like Barry’s answers confused him. Barry hoped it was because Singh was actually confused, and not because he suspected that Barry’s (now ex-) boyfriend was Captain Cold.

Thankfully, Barry did not have to keep this up for long. Five minutes after Captain Singh called him, Eddie came jogging up to them. “There you are! Oh thank god, we were actually starting to get kind of worried.”

Barry scrunched his nose. “What? Why?”

“Cisco invited me for guy's’ night and we’ve been trying to call you, goofball,” said Eddie, grinning at Barry. “Ollie, Dig and everyone are here from Starling and everything. Did you forget your phone at the station?”

Barry shook his head. “I went to ah, go hang out with Len. I think I left it home.”

Eddie frowned at this. After looking Barry up and down, he turned to Captain Singh and asked, “Permission for a manhunt, sir?”

David just laughed. “Only if you just use toilet paper, and you don’t get caught.”

Eddie nodded. “Done, thank you sir.

“You are not tp-ing Len’s house,” said Barry. His head was aching a little and he wobbled as he stood up.

“Alright, Grumpy Gus,” said Eddie, taking him by the hand. “It sounds like your blood sugar is low, so why don’t we head back to the party and feed you and you can tell us all about why we aren’t going to hunt down your boyfriend and make the biggest mess he’s ever had to clean up.”

Barry grumbled and then turned back to the Captain and Rob. “Thank you for waiting with me. And if you want, I’ll still come by on Saturday to bake with you.”

“Yes, please,” said Rob with a giant grin. “I can’t wait for it, actually.”

Barry let Eddie guide him back to the car with only minor grumbling.

* * *

Meanwhile, Len was doing his very best to avoid his family. He had debated climbing down out of his window with his emergency escape ladder, but Mick was waiting out on the back porch for him. Of course, he was faster than Mick, so he could always make a break for his bike... Trying to outrun Lisa, though, would be a disaster.

All the same, he needed to get out of here and fast. Lisa would try to make him talk about his feelings. He felt bad enough already without haven’t to do that. All he needed was to take a ride on his bike and that would make everything okay again. No matter how much he wanted to go apologize to Barry for being cruel and kiss his sweet Flash until he was forgiven.

Len paused his thoughts and wondered where that last one had come from. “I have got to stop reading Mick’s romance novels.”

Len shook his head and returned to plotting. He didn’t have enough time to plan this. He would have to try for the lesser of two evils. The window it was then.

Len thru the escape ladder out the window and began to climb down.

Mick, for his part, just watched Len come down, and did nothing to stop him as Len’s feet hit the ground. Instead, he just held out his hand and said, “Two hundred bucks and I won’t call for your sister.”

Len squinted at his best friend of more than twenty years. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? So, he pulled out his wallet, and handed over a wad of cash.

Mick counted it quietly, and with a nod, he put it in his pocket. “Alright, then, buddy, start running.”

Len opened his mouth to question, but then decided it wasn’t worth it and ran for his bike.

This turned out to be the right choice as not five seconds later, Mick began to yell, “LISA! YOUR BROTHER’S ESCAPING!”

Thankfully, Len thought, a five second head start appeared to be enough--since he was pulling out of the driveway on his bike as Lisa rounded the corner to the driveway. “Bye sis!” he called as he drove away.

“LEONARD VALENTINE SNART YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!” Lisa yelled as she stomped one foot.

“I’ll be back later!” said Len over his shoulder as he merged onto the street.

Mick came up behind Lisa and placed his hands on her shoulder in order to plant her in place.

Lisa snorted. “Mick you let him get away!”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Lees, I’ve got a plan,” said Mick.

Lisa turned around and punched him in the arm. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” said Mick. “You get the nerds to figure out how to keep Len in one place for an hour. I’ve got to get to the store for some booze.”

“Micky, is now _really_ the time to be getting drunk?” asked Lisa with a frown

“It is if you want your brother to talk about his feelings,” said Mick. The normally solemn man gave her a wink. “Just trust me, here, Lisa.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Alright. But we’re rescheduling family dinner. I refuse to be overruled like this.”

“Whatever you say,” said Mick, heading for his truck. Time to put that two hundred to good use.

* * *

From: www.BarryAllenFanClub.org

**Board: Shipping**

_Description: What do you ship? Civil Discussions people! Ship and let ship! If one more ship war breaks out, I and the mods have to start banning people!--prez001_

**Thread: What is it?**

_Description: a Discussion of shipping and all it entails._

Post: I don't get it?

toohothotdamn: what is this stuff anyways? why do you keep talking about who this barry kid should go out with? thats his own choice.

  prez001: hi toohot! We're not really talking about Barry in the sense that we think we're making the best decision for him or anything like that. Most of us have never met Barry Allen or any of his friends personally, he's more of a celebrity figure to us. So really, we're making up stories about Barry the celebrity, not Barry Allen himself.

    toohothotdamn: oh, so wouldn't force it on him, you just think he might be good with someone and that's a ship?

      prez001: exactly!

        toohothotdamn: oh. I dunno that I ship the kid with anyone then. but I think I have a ship. Is that okay to talk about?

          prez001: absolutely! you may have to go to another thread to keep it orderly, but what ship were you thinking of?

            toohothotdamn: The Flash and Captain Cold.

Bart squinted at the phone screen as he read through the forum post. He at last shrugged and tucked his phone in his pocket to attend to the customer now standing at the counter. Bart regretted this decision almost immediately, as the man began stacking large amounts of alcohol on the counter to buy.

“Uhh,” said Bart, as he watched the well-built man stack the cans of beer and then shove bottles of liquor at him. “It might be cheaper if you get a keg?” Bart said.

The man squinted and looked between the boxes of beer and the kegs they had behind the counter. At last he nodded and said, “Alright. Pour me one of those fresh.” He took the boxes of beer cans and began to stack them back from where he had gotten them.

Bart poured out the keg and meanwhile kept sneaking glances at the man.

“Something wrong?” the man asked.

“No, I just recognize you from somewhere,” Bart said, trying to hide his surprise when he recognized him. Because Heatwave was definitely in the liquor store right now. “Do you act?”

Heatwave snorted. “No.”

Bart nodded and focused on topping off the keg. He scanned it and hauled it around to the front.

Heatwave frowned at Bart saying, “Pretty strong to be able to carry a metal keg.”

“I lift,” Bart said. “Is this all? Or did you want to get some coconut water and magnesium sulfide tabs?”

“What for?” Heatwave asked.

“Helps stop hangovers,” said Bart.

“Throw some of those on,” said Heatwave, nodding toward them.

They were stacked right next to the register, so Bart scanned a couple of packages of both and handed them over. The man paid the $220 bill with only minor grumbling about how someone named Snart hadn’t given him enough money. Bart tried not to grin at that. Instead, he just helped Heatwave carry it all out to his car, and wished him a nice day.

As he stepped back in the store, another customer approached the counter with shock on his face. “Do you think--was that Heatwave?” he asked.

“Sure looked like it,” said Bart, a large grin spreading across his face. “Is that all for you today?”

* * *

 

**Board: IRL**

**Thread: Super Central (City)**

Post: Supervillain Sightings **  
**

_Description: We are living in a superpowered world, and some supers just happen to be villains. Villain thread only! Post the hero stuff over on the hero thread. YES! WE ARE COUNTING THE ARROW OR THE GREEN ARROW OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY'RE CALLING THEMSELVES AS A HERO._

prez001: guys! Heatwave just came and bought a ton of booze from my liquor store! The Rogues are gonna get SMASHED TONIGHT!

    aintnosunshinewhenimhere: not all of the Rogues. Just Heatwave and Captain Cold. 

      poofthereitis: Mark, you dumbass, don't post stuff like that online!

        aintnosunshinewhenimhere: What? That's the plan isn't it?

        TrickedU2: Mark has a point. 

          FluteThereItIs: Axel, I swear to Terry Pratchett, I'm gonna murder you in your sleep. 

* * *

Len returned from his ride feeling no better than when he had left. He still wanted to bash himself over the head for how he had acted earlier. All Barry had wanted was to talk to him, to express to Len something important (what, Len couldn't focus on at the moment). Par for the course, Len had fucked it all up, and sent Barry away.

The house was oddly quiet when he entered. He half expected Lisa to jump out from behind a corner and hogtie him so she could get him to talk about his feelings. But Len’s only greeting was a text from Mick that said [On the roof].

Len frowned at the message, but nonetheless, he climbed the four stories to the roof. Pushing open the door that led him out onto paved and tarred surface, he noticed several things. One: Mick had a keg full of beer and various spirits sprawled out over the roof. Two, there were two lawn chairs meant for reclining. Three: there was plate of whatever Lisa had made for dinner sitting out on table between the two lawn chairs.

All in all it was a trap. All it lacked was a cardboard box with stick to hold it up.

“Snart, you want a beer or what?” Mick asked, frowning as he poured out a beer from the keg.

Len shrugged and stepped forward, letting the door swing shut behind him. “Yeah, sure.”

Mick finished pouring out two beers before he settled into his own lawn chair. “You’re probably hungry,” he said. “You should eat.”

Len’s stomach gave a small burbble. He sniffed the food first, hoping that if there something like sleeping pills, he might be able to detect them. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up with green hair or something. Len didn’t smell anything chemical, or see any powdered or cracked up substances that would indicate such a thing, so he ate. It was good--Lisa had made a pork roast with mash potatoes, sauerkraut and green beans. The meat was still tender, the potatoes were creamy and the vegetables just right.

After Len’s second bite of food, he asked, “So when does the guilt trip start?” he asked.

“When you pull your head out of your ass,” said Mick, sipping on his beer. “And it’s more of an intervention.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a moment longer, Len eating and drinking, Mick sipping on his beer.

After a minute or so, and really, Len had to commend Mick on his patience, Mick said, “So you broke up with him, huh?”

“Yep,” said Len, taking a long draft of beer.

Mick grunted and then fell silent again for a moment. After the moment had passed, he said, “Len, we’ve known each other, what, thirty years?”

“Just about,” said Len, finishing off the plate of food. He hadn’t realized how hungry he had been.

“And in all the those years I’ve known you, you’ve always been the one who’s in control,” said Mick. He turned to face Len head on, to look him in the eye. “It ain’t always a bad thing. ‘s held me, n’ Lisa, n’ the others more times than I can count. But sometimes, Len, being in control for you is like fire is for me.”

Len listened to Mick, schooling his face, keeping himself placid. He took a long draft of beer before he spoke. “So, what, you think I should just give up all control over my life and go as crazy as Axel.”

Mick raised an eyebrow and jabbed a finger at him. “That was uncalled for. Just ‘cause you're sore don’t mean you get to be cruel, buddy.”

Len frowned with a sigh. He scrubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I just... Fuck, Mick, I don’t know what to do.”

“And it scares the hell outta you when you don’t know,” said Mick. “I got it Lenny. Like I said, thirty years we’ve known each other.”

Len downed the rest of his beer and stood to refill his cup. “The fuck do I do about it?” he asked when his cup was full.

“What was it that you told Axel when he wouldn’t ask out Hartley?” said Mick. “ Use your words?’”

Len laughed. “It’s not that easy, Mick.”

“The fuck not?” Mick asked, joining him at the keg for a refill.

“Fuck, Mick, I just said I dunno,” said Len.

‘Fuck that--you said you don’t know what to do, not you don’t know what to say. You know what you want to say to him,” said Mick. “You just don’t want to say it, because it means you’re not in control of the situation anymore. So you don’t know what you want more--to stay in control or admit to the kid that you love him, and let him say that he loves you too.”

Len scowled. He downed the rest of his beer, as he stalked toward the roof door. Tossing the red solo cup over his shoulder, he reached down for the door handle, and to his surprise found it would not turn. Len tried again with both of his hands, pulling with he had, and still it would not budge. He huffed and turned back to Mick, “What the fuck.”

Mick shrugged, raising his glass to his lips. With a satisfied gulp he said, “I figured you’d probably try to run away at some point. So did Lisa. But interventions don’t work very well if you get to run away, so I told the nerds to rig something to make you stay. Now, use that big brain of yours and talk to me, Lenny.”

“Fuck,” said Len. He ran a hand over the short, coarse hairs of his head. He slumped down, back sliding against the door until the ground of the roof met his bottom. “I'm forty-three, Mick.”

“So?” asked Mick, as he poured Len a third beer. “I’m forty-five.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Len.

“So what’s the point, Len.”

“Barry’s twenty-seven,” said Len. “I’m almost twenty years older than him.”

“He obviously doesn’t care, Len,” said Mick, offering him the beer, before dragging over Len’s abandoned lawn chair to sit in.

“It’s not just my age,” said Len, taking a gulp of the beer. “He’s beautiful and good and kind and people _adore_ him. Just him--regular, average ordinary Barry Allen. They think he’s smart and funny and clever and they’re _right._ There are so many people who’d be so much better for him, and they want him, Mick. And me--I’m the bad guy, Mick. And I’m a bad guy to top it off.”

“Y’ain’t a bad guy,” said Mick after a moment. He rolled his eyes a little as he spoke. “Y’done some bad stuff, Len, that’s for sure. But y’ain’t a bad man.”

“How do you figure?” Len asked, drinking down his beer.

“Y’done a lot of good in this world too. You look out for your sister and your friends and for kids and even the needy.” Mick leaned back in his chair. “You steal, sure, you’ve killed some other bad men. But I’ve never seen you touch somebody that didn’t know the rules of the game. And yeah, maybe your right don’t erase the wrong, but the wrong don’t erase the right neither. Barry seems to think so too.”

“What if one day he does mind?” asked Len. He got to his feet and began to pace. “What if one day, it _does_ all go to smoke, and me being with him burns you and Lisa and everyone else?”

“Quit borrowing trouble,” said Mick. “If the two of you make it, you will. But even if you do fall out, well, Barry don’t seem like the kind of man to take revenge on his lover’s family. If he did, there would already be police cars here, don’t you think? You made him cry, after all.”

Len huffed. “Thank you, for reminding me of that.”

“So since Barry’s not gonna burn you, and since you can’t see the future, for once in our lives, Lenny, I’m gonna tell you what you’re gonna do,” said Mick. He stood and clapped Len on the back, letting his arm rest on Len’s shoulder. “You’re gonna quit moping, and you’re gonna go tell Barry that you love’im and you’re sorry.”

Len just looked at Mick with frown.

Mick frowned back. “You _do_ love him, don’t you?”

“I hadn’t considered it,” said Len, in all honesty.

“Oh for crying out loud,” said Mick, rolling his eyes once again. “Do you, or do you not, love Barry Allen?

Len’s mind began to whir as it drew on all the variables of his and Barry’s relationship. But what Mick had said about Len taking control overrode his normal thought process. Instead, he reached down into his three sizes too small heart and gave a short answer, “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Mick asked, with a petulant, shit-eating grin.

“Yes, I love Barry Allen,” said Len.

MIck turned them toward the vacant lot behind their Den and said, “Now shout it from the roof top.”

“Let’s not get carried away,” said Len, taking another draught of his beer. “How long do you intend to keep us up here?”

“I told Lisa to give me at least an hour to get you properly soused,” said Mick. “And then we’ll go get your boy.”

“Aren’t we a little old to get knock down drunk, Mick?” Len asked.

“You’re never too old for a little liquid courage,” said Mick.

Len couldn’t help but laugh. He knocked their cups together. “Too true my friend. To friendship!”

“To interventions!” said Mick.

They knocked back their drinks and headed for more.

* * *

The guys night party had turned into an “everyone” party when the girls (including Iris, Caitlin, Linda, Felicity, Laurel and Sarah) joined them at STAR Labs. Cisco had long since commandeered a lounge and fitted it with bean bags and soft chairs. They had laid out pizza and snacks on tables from the old cafeteria and. Honestly, Barry was pretty relaxed and having fun, crying fit earlier aside.

“Seriously,” Oliver asked. “When do we get to go lay siege?”

“Ollie, I say this as your friend, nobody sieges anything any more,” said Tommy.

“And even if they did, we’re not laying siege to anything,” said Barry.

“Seriously?” Cisco asked. “Not even like a TP siege? Because, come on, you know you want to TP their little ‘rogues den.’”

Barry rolled his eyes and then grinned. “Okay, maybe a little. But no, I’m just gonna have a little party with you guys and then go over tomorrow and get him to talk to me. I figure we both got overwhelmed and we’re going to act like human adults and talk to each other.”

“That’s very mature, Barry,” said Caitlin.

“But so very boring!” said Linda, as she tossed a wadded up napkin at him.

Barry flinched as everyone threw napkins at him. “You guys are so mean to me!”

“Don’t be mean to Barry.” Everyone whirled to the door of the lounge where Axel Walker stood, with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “Barry needs to be emotionally in one piece for the next, like 10 minutes of his life. After that you can fall apart if you want.”

“That’s very kind of you, Axel,” said Barry, his brows furrowed. “But, ah, what are you doing here?”

“Oh! Right,” said Axel. “I just came ahead to tell you that us being here is not, like, an attack on STAR Labs or anything. It just turns out that Captain Cold is really hard to wrangle when he’s drunk.”

Barry blinked a few times as he stared at Axel’s earnest face.

“Am I the only one who’s confused?” asked Sara.

“No,” said everyone in the room.

Axel rolled his eyes. “Alright, Captain Cold made Barry, cry, right? So Heatwave got Captain Cold drunk so he would talk about his feelings, because we all know that Captain Cold didn’t want to make Barry cry. So now Captain Cold is really drunk and, apparently, this makes him really prone to peeing off buildings, wandering off, and still really good at getting out of handcuffs, in case you want to bookmark that for the future.”

“Noted?” said Barry. “So Len is coming here?”

“Yes! Finally you understand!” Axel crossed the room and pulled Barry by the hand trying to get him to his feet.

Barry nearly toppled back down, however, almost taking Axel with him. Eddie, being rather astute, saw the fall as it was happening, and reached to push Barry back up (conveniently copping a feel of Barry’s tight bum, which Eddie would claim was an accident if he were asked--no one would believe him, not even himself).

Once on his feet, Barry allowed Axel to drag him along out into the hallways of the labs. As Axel lead the way, and they got closer to Len, Barry could hear him (well, and Mick coming). Apparently, Len was quite the theatrical drunk--as in he appeared like ever comic relief drunk to ever appear on film. He was loud, his words slightly slurred, and if Mark Mardon and Roscoe Dillon didn’t have such a stalwart strategy of pushing their shoulders together every time Len turned around. Mick blocked the other half, but mostly because he was hold a camera and filming the whole interaction. For some reason he was still wearing the cold gun.

Axel, when asked, said, “He kept saying, ‘this is mine, not yours, you don’t take things that don’t belong to you,’ whenever we tried to get it from him.”

Barry couldn’t help but laugh.

Lisa and Shawna, meanwhile, had a hold of Len by either arm, though he kept slipping from their grips no matter how tightly they held him.

“Lenny, we have to go this way,” said Lisa. “Dear God, Micky, this is the last time I agree to any of your plans.”

Mick responded by giggling.

“Lisa, Lisa, Lisa,” said Len. “I’m, I’m all wobbly.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Yes, Lenny, I know, you’ve told us. Look, Len, there’s Barry! Go to Barry now.”

She let go of Len’s arm and pushed him forward straight for Barry. Barry held out his arms, but Len stumbled and then stuttered to a stop in the middle of the hall way.

He looked around for a moment and then up at Barry. “Where am I?”

Barry had to laugh. “You’re at STAR Labs, Lenny.”

“Oh...” said Len. Then he focused in on Barry and brightened. “Barry! Barry! I missed you so much!” Now he actually ran forward and wrapped his arms around Barry, pressing wet kisses into Barry’s neck.

“Len you just saw me a couple of hours ago,” said Barry, nevertheless wrapping his arms around Len.

“I knoooww,” said Len. “But, but, but...” He pulled back from their hug, still resting his arms on Barry’s shoulders. “Barry I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Jesus Christ,” said Lisa. “You’re apologizing, Lenny.”

“Oh,” said Len, turning from Lisa to Barry. “I’m sorry,” he said, swiftly, pressing a kiss to Barry’s mouth.

“Damnit, Lenny,” said Lisa. “That’s not the whole thing.”

Barry, chuckling and with a smile on his face, said, “It’s okay, Lisa. Why don’t you all head on home. I’ll take care of drunk!Len from here on out.”

“Thank fuck,” said Mark Mardon before he turned and left with no further prompting.

“We’ll get the car started!” said Roscoe Dillon as he followed after.

Lisa frowned as she asked, “Are you sure you’re okay, Barry?”

“I’ll be just fine, Lisa, I promise,” said Barry.

“If you say so, Barry, but I expect my brother in one piece, even if he did break your heart,” said Lisa.

“No promises!” said Oliver from the opposite end of the hall.

“Psh!” Lisa waved them off. “And so help me god, if I find any toilette paper on my house because of my brother’s one moment of stupidity, it’s an act of war, I promise you.”

Axel ran after them, with a short wave good-bye to Barry.

As soon as they were out of sight, Barry turned to his friends--or did as best he could while Len clung to him like an octopus--and said, “Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” before he took Len in his arms and sped off.

Barry flashed all the way to his apartment, setting Len down, before grabbing a plastic grocery bag and holding it up around Len’s mouth as he started to say, “Barry I don’t--” and ended with puking. Barry rubbed Len’s back as he let it all out, and silently thanked God that he didn’t have a strong gag reflex for these things. When Len was done, he directed him to sit on the couch while he disposed of the waste.

Len looked sort of confused. “Barry, where am I?”

“You’re in my apartment,” said Barry, as he took down some potassium tabs and coconut water. Even if he couldn’t get drunk he had people over often enough that he kept them around. He gave Len three of the tablets and an opened can of coconut water.

Len stared at them for a moment before he said, “Barry, I don’t do drugs.”

Barry could only laugh. “They’re not drugs, Lenny, they’re vitamins. It’ll help your hangover.”

Len’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure?”

L“Positive,” said Barry, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “And drink your water down. I want you to have another one before we go to bed.”

‘’Kay,” said Len. He was still squinting at the potassium tablets, but eventually popped them in his mouth and chewed them up. Len chased the tablets with the can of coconut water. He pouted when Barry tried to give him another one. “I’m good,” he said.

“But you won’t be good in the morning,” said Barry, taking the empty can and putting the full one in Len’s hand. “Just one more and we can go and cuddle.”

Len seemed to perk up at this thought, looking up at Barry with bright eyes and a smile. “Lots of cuddles?”

“Lots of cuddles, yes,” said Barry.

“And kisses?”

“And kisses.”

Len downed the can after that, tossing it to the ground when he had emptied it. “Ready!”

Barry held out his hand with a smile. Len took it, leaning forward to press a kiss to Barry’s mouth. As Barry pulled away, he led Len back into the bedroom. They exchanged small kisses, less than a hair’s breath of time together, as they undressed. Touch from hand to neck, to chest, to torso, to thigh lingered between them, but oddly, Barry didn't feel aroused. He felt more content with the chaste action than he had ever known himself to be before.

Len looked tired now, his eyes drooping, and yawns forcing apart his mouth. Barry pulled back the sheets and duvet for them, and they climbed underneath. Len wound himself around Barry, as Barry lay back against the pillows at the head of the bed. Barry turned out the lights, and for a moment he had to marvel at how warm and wonderful he felt, just lying together with the man that he loved.

“Barry?” said Len.

“Yes, Lenny?” said Barry.

“Do you love me?” Len asked.

Barry felt his lungs stop for a moment before they continued to work. He ran a hand over Len’s short, coarse hair. “Yes I do,” he said at last.

“I love you, too,” said Len, without hesitation. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Barry. “I forgive you. I love you.”

Len snuggled himself in against Barry’s chest and promptly fell asleep.

Barry stayed up a little while longer, thinking and stroking Len’s hair. But soon, his lover’s breathing and the beating of his heart worked like a lullaby, calming Barry’s thoughts until he fell asleep.

* * *

Len woke with a headache. It was just a dull ache, a little behind his eyes. He opened his eyes to find a kind of grey light filtered in through the room via the curtains. The light, thankfully, did not make his headache worse. Barry’s clock read that it was a little past ten in the morning, and Len found that he was laying on Barry’s chest. As he looked up he saw that Barry was awake as well.

“Good morning, handsome,” said Barry, reaching up to run his fingers over Len’s head, scratching at Len’s short hair. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts a little,” said Len.

“No nausea or anything?” Barry asked.

“No...” said Len. “But I can’t remember how I got here...”

Barry chuckled and reached down to kiss Len’s forehead. “Well, I’m sort of not surprised. You were really drunk last night, love. Axel told me that Mick got you drunk so you could talk about your feelings. And boy are you a giggly drunk.”

Len groaned and buried his face in Barry’s chest. “Last thing I remember I was breaking up with you...but you don’t seem upset.”

“Because Mick’s plan worked,” said Barry, his fingers lazily working their way down Len’s scalp to his neck. “You told me you were sorry and that you loved me. And I told you I loved you right back.”

Len became very still as he lay against Barry’s chest.

Barry’s hand traveled down Len’s back, rubbing in soothing circles. “Lenny. do you love me?”

“I shouldn’t,” said Len, very quietly. “But I do.”

“And why shouldn’t you?” Barry asked.

“You deserve so much better than me, Barry--you’re goodness and light. I’m a thief, a liar and a killer. You’re a hero. And people love you--your friends, your fans, they all adore you, and they have good reason to. I just...I’m never going to compare to that--to live up to it.”

Barry took his free hand, leaving his other on Len’s back, and placed it under Len’s chin. Barry tilted Len’s face up to meet Barry’s eyes. “Len, I want you--more than I have ever wanted anyone else. And let me tell you this, if I haven’t said it, or haven’t said it enough. There is a goodness in you, that despite all the darkness of your life still goes on. And yes, you’ve done terrible things. But you’ve done good too. The badness doesn’t negate that.”

“How do we know though?” asked Len. “If it’s gonna go down in flames?”

“How do we know if it’s gonna be forever?” asked Barry in return. “But to quote someone I really, really like, how do we know which it will be until we try?”

It took Len a moment to process the words until he recalled who, exactly, had said that. Meanwhile Barry smiled down at him, like Len was the most amazing person Barry had ever seen. When it hit Len who has said those words, he couldn’t help but lean up and kiss Barry’s grin away.

They go slowly into it, kissing for long minutes, tens of minutes, until they’ve been aroused longer than either of them would normally care to stand. Len does not particularly care how it aches though, because Barry’s mouth on his mesmerizes him. When Barry does manage to break off, only to attach himself to Len’s neck, sucking a large pink spot there, Len thinks that he would really like something else, something more, something he’s been afraid to ask for.

The words stick to his throat though, as they continue to kiss and nibble and bite love marks into each other's skin--Barry’s refuse to stay, but Len just takes that as an invitation to make more, until Barry bats him away with a smile.

He licks down Len’s chest until he gets to Len’s boxers which he pulls off with ease.

“Yours too,” says Len, as Barry tosses them to the side of the room.

Barry laughs and shimmies them off of his hips. “Of course.”

And when Barry’s boxers go flying across the room, he nestles himself between Len’s legs and licks a long, hot stripe up Len’s cock.

Len throws himself back into the pillows as Barry begins to suck on his cock. He mutters, “You are going to be the death of me, Scarlet.”

From around Len’s cock, Barry cheerfully murmurs, “Mmhmm.”

Len tangles his fingers in Barry’s mussed hair, scratching and just so gently tugging. Barry moans whenever he does, sending vibrations through Len. It makes his mind fuzzy and difficult to keep track of time, so he has no idea how long it takes before he desperately wants to come. “Barry,” he says, trying not to sound wrecked and failing.

Barry pauses, but does not lift off completely from Len’s dick. “Mmm?”

“I want...” says Len. He swallows hard, never having said this before. But this, surely this is easier than saying, “I love you,” than explaining he’s not worthy, than letting go of something that makes Barry’s love so difficult to hold. “I want you inside of me,” says Len.

Barry pulls off of his cock and gently climbs up the bed between Len’s legs. He reachs out and rubs his knuckles across Len’s cheek. “Are you sure, love?”

“I’m positive,” says Len, as he leans over and kisses Barry’s wrist. “I want you you to make love to me like that.”

Barry’s smile radiates warmth inside of him. They kiss several times, short and sweet before Barry leans over to the bedside table for a tube of lube. As his fingers, God those long, gorgeous fingers, stretch and explore Len, Barry keeps pressing kisses to Len’s thigh and nuzzling him sweetly. Len wants to come so badly, just like this, feeling so loved, so desired, so wanted. So he does, not holding back as his body releases the want all at once.

“Like that?” Barry asks, licking the cum from Len’s stomach.

“Liked it a lot,” says Len. “Still want you inside of me, if you want to.”

Barry kisses Len’s stomach. “I always want you.”

Barry slides into him with some burn. They hold in place panting together. Len meets Barry’s eye and he can’t look away. If he were anything less than high off of his own endorphins, and maybe even then sometimes, Len might describe the what he feels when Barry looks at him as being trapped--trapped by wishes and expectations and greatness. Instead, he feels embraced by that look in Barry’s eye.

Barry kisses him as he starts to move, and Len wraps his arms around Barry’s neck and hols him there, even as they break the kiss. Barry pants into his ear as he--well, despite having read an enormous amount of erotic fiction in his life, Len can’t think of how to describe what Barry’s doing just now. Because normally he would think of it as fucking, but that’s not what it is, because well, fucking has never felt like this before. He’s never fucked with someone he loves.

And when Barry finishes, grunting and groaning, small prayers of, “Oh God,” whispered in Len’s ear, Len decides it doesn’t matter what they’re doing. What matters is how Barry looks at him as he flops down next to Len. What matters is that they kiss and whisper to each other, “I love you, I love you.” Len never wants to stop saying it.

Barry’s stomach chose that moment to growl. Len’s stomach chose the moment just after.

The two of them could not help but burst out laughing.

They planned on spending the day lounging in bed or around Barry’s apartment. Barry had called out of work from the day. Len reluctantly texted Lisa telling her that they were good now, and thanking her for guiding a black out drunk version of himself back to Barry. She replied that the video Mick had taken made it all worth it.

Naturally, Flash business chose to interrupt them.

Barry good-naturedly rolled his eyes at Cisco’s phone call and said he would be on site in a few minutes. “Yes, Cisco, I understand. Boomerang and Deathstroke. Ollie’s going to meet me there, right? No sign of any metas, yet, right?”

A worry bubbled up in Len’s stomach as he listened.

Barry saw his frown when he hung up with Cisco and kissed Len soundly on the mouth. “You can always come with me. Call it a turf dispute or something?”

“Or you can stay with me, and let the Arrow take care of it, right?” said Len.

“Mmmm, no,” said Barry. He kissed Len’s cheek and then in a rush, he was standing before Len dressed in his Flash costume. “Back in a Flash.”

Barry was off before Len could see his eye roll. “Typical,” Len muttered, going to get dressed. Of course, when he did, he noticed his Cold Gun was with his clothes from yesterday.

* * *

**Board: IRL**

**Thread: Super Central (City)**

_Description: Most of us live in Central City, as that's where Barry is based. And if you haven't watched the news there's some weird shit that goes on in Central City._

Post: He really is an evil speedster from an alternate dimension (video)

prez001: [A youtube video is embedded into the post]

Warning, this can get kind of graphic in places. Too long, didn't watch: basically the Flash, Green Arrow, Atom, Red Arrow, Black Canary, Spartan, Firestorm and everyone else were fighting these two guys in downtown central city (one of them was responsible for that super soldier army in Starling City a couple of years ago). And then this weird ass speedster rolls up, dressed in all black and blue lightning rolls up, claiming to be Zoom, and starts beating on the Flash! Well, everyone's trying to get him to stop, but he's too fast, and then there's this weird blur before Captain Cold just shoots this Zoom guy in the back. And the Rogues are just raining hell on him, and they help get the Flash to safety, before Captain Cold says that he's our speedster not yours.

  kittens: Jeezus. Man that was an intense video--prez was not kidding when she said it can get graphic. Be safe everyone, make sure to check in with your families and stuff.

    flutterBYE: what kittens said. I guess goodVIBErations was right. It's like they can see the future or something

      panicintheBakery: Jesus, there are actual superheroes and supervillains and superpowers in the world. WTF. What happened to this one? Did they kill him?

        prez001: according to the news, and the video, some government types rolled up and imprisoned him in this special container? They have special containment units at Iron Heights Prison for these guys.

  SmoothLightningBolt: Any word on what that blur was? It looks like another meta human to me.

    goodVIBErations: I haven't found anything no.

    firestorm2: uh, guys? we might want to move this discussion off the internet.

      firestorm0: Jefferson is correct.

         gogoPowerRangers: Cool! Metahuman meetup group. I'll get an event running.

**Board: Shipping**

**Thread: Captain Cold x The Flash**

Post: The kiss

toohothotdamn: [A youtube video embedded into the post]

Sat on this for a day or so, but given that there were no fatalities and few injuries from the weirdo zoom, thought you guys might like video of when Captain Cold and the Flash kissed.

  prez001: boy that police captain does not look happy.

  BruceWayneisTotallyBatman: Neither does green arrow.

  gothprepdichontomy: Nobody looks really happy except coldflash.

    aintnosunshinewhenimhere: again with the names?

      silenceisau: I like the name

        OCaptain: ditto

**Board: IRL**

**Thread: Super Central (City)**

Post; Relief Fund

prez001: Hey everyone! Barry’s donating his ad revenue from his latest episode to the Central City Attack Relief Fund. The City Council has a fundraising page going though if you would like to donate in other ways--they are accepting money and other donations. Check it out.

* * *

Epilogue

There wasn’t a whole lot to do on monitor duty, when there wasn’t an emergency, so Hal found himself browsing the internet. And someone had left open a youtube page full of...well videos of Barry baking--cookies, pies, souffles, casseroles, jalapenos.

That, of course, had led Hal to look into this further. After backspacing out of some really graphic fanfiction, he found himself reading through decade old forum posts from when the Barry Allen Fan Club had first gotten started in 2015.

A whoosh indicated that Barry had entered the monitor bay. “What’cha looking at?” he asked.

“You’re internet famous,” said Hal.

Barry grinned. “That’s what I like about you, Hal, you’re oblivious.”

“Hey!” said Hal, leaning back in his chair with a pout. “What’s that mean?”

“Means you’re oblivious,” said Barry. “Practically everyone in the League’s been on _Baking With Barry_ at some point.”

“Len’s never been an episode, though,” said Hal. “Does...he knows about your internet fame, right?”

Barry grinned. “No, Hal, Len and I have been together for 20 years and have twins together, but he does not know about my secret-secret identity as an internet baker. Speaking of the twins.” Barry pulled a slightly crumpled card stock envelope from his pocket. “Len and I are having a barbeque for their birthday.”

“Is it really a _birth_ day though?” asked Hal with a grin as he reached for the invitation.

Barry swiped the invitation away. “Harold, I swear to God, if you make any jokes about my children being pod people, you are uninvited, no ribs for you.”

“You cannot uninvite me, Bartholomew,” said Hal. “I have to be there to teach my godchildren how to take a joke.”

“You dressed them up as peapods for Hallowe’en!” said Barry. “And you share godfather with Ollie, Cisco and Mick.”

“And everyone thought they were a pair of adorable peapods, if it was slightly strange that they were dressed that way,” said Hal with a grin. “Len thought it was funny.”

As Barry opened his mouth to rebut, another woosh raced through the room and Impulse stood in front of them. “Grampa, really, are you going to miss lasagna night just because you’re talking with GL? Come on!” he said before racing out again.

Hal shook his head. “Man I love that kid, but it’s gotta be weird for Impulse--helping raise his dad and everything."

Barry shrugged. “Bart's used to time travel at this point. His parents are going to live in 3030 where he’ll be born, and then he came back 2020 as a fourteen-year-old who had only been alive for 4 years, and hey, you know something? Bart was even around in 2015 to start a fan site that would eventually help get two of his grandparents together.”

Hal blinked and turned back to the screen. “You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” said Barry. “That was before the league, right before we met actually. It’s under the old STAR Labs mission reports if you want to read about it. But I’ve gotta run: lasagna night.”

Hal and Barry waved good-bye to each other as Barry sped off for some of Len’s amazing lasagna.

Hal turned back to the screen and began the command prompts to bring up STAR Labs mission reports and began sorting through.


End file.
